Policy statement
We connect rather than correct.
We understand behaviour is communication.
We are curious in order to understand.
We will co-regulate to help children self-regulate.
We recognise fight, flight, freeze and fawn responses.
We empathise when someone is flipping their lid.
We believe that relationships buffer stress and build resilience.
All of us need one another, always.
Resilience means we see you; we hear you; we are with you.
Everyone belongs & everyone matters.
Procedures
Aims
This policy is designed to promote a positive ethos of behaviour in which children can work, play well together, and build relationships.
There is a high expectation of behaviour in all aspects of the day which places the needs of the child at its centre (see policy statement above).
Our setting will support all children, including those displaying personal social, emotional difficulties.
We maintain that all behaviour is a form of communication.
By understanding this, all children shall have their individual needs met and the opportunity to reach their full potential.
To achieve this our setting fully endorse the Five to Thrive – Attachment, Trauma and Resilience (ATR) model (see appendix 1)
We appreciate and understand that:
- Encourage a calm, purposeful and happy atmosphere conducive to good
learning. - Foster positive attitudes towards themselves and others which recognises and values achievements at all levels.
- Enable children to recognise and identify feelings and emotions, and gradually acknowledge appropriate behaviour.
- Encourage increasing independence and promote self-regulation skills through co-regulation with a warm, responsive adult.
- Provide a consistent approach to positive relationships and behaviours that challenge across the setting.
- Ensure that children are supported to develop an understanding of agreed boundaries.
- Ensure children are taught to find, acknowledge and express their own boundaries
- Ensure practitioners nurture and work with children in such a way that they feel truly valued and emotionally regulated.
- Ensure that all children feel safe and secure within our setting.
- Provide an interesting, well-planned curriculum that motivates children to learn alongside developing the social, emotional, and behavioural skills.
- Embrace Five to Thrive ATR model in our setting.
- Recognise and place value that every interaction is an intervention.
Objectives
Our setting strives to promote a caring, calm, and secure environment where everyone feels safe, secure and respect for others is fostered. We aim to promote a positive culture and to encourage in all children a sense of responsibility to themselves, to our setting and to the wider community. This is achieved through staff, children, and families working in partnership.
This Calmness, Kindness and Connection-Seeking Behaviour Policy seeks to inform, guide and support staff, families, and children.
- Consistent Five to Thrive ATR approach to promote positive relationships
- Identified Five to Thrive Champion/s
- Strong leadership
- Strategies that promote positive relationships and behaviour
- Staff development and support
- Liaison and work together with families and other agencies supporting the child
- Managing child transition
- Adaptations and reflection regarding learning environment
Corporal Punishment and Physical Intervention
Refer to the Statutory Framework 3.59 (January 2024 edition)
Strategies and Tools (see appendix 1)
Our setting uses the following strategies and tools to promote positive relationships and behaviour. We adopt a clear, confidential, and non-shaming approach to implementing these.
- Six steps to conflict resolution
- De-escalation toolkit
- Affirmation cards
- Calming Techniques
- Tucker Turtle
- Colour Monster
- Five to Thrive One Page Profile
- Five to Thrive Settling in Booklet
- Keep your cool toolkit app (Dr Mine Conkbayir)
Appendix 1:
KCA (Kate Cairns Associates) have produced a useful model to describe five key parental and practitioner activities which actively develop baby brains through mindful soothing and simulation.

The Five to Thrive model is an attachment-based approach being promoted and delivered throughout Wiltshire by all professionals from health, education and all supporting agencies. In addition, Five to Thrive looks at supporting trauma in early childhood.
Within Five to Thrive there are five simple elements that children need every day that help children’s brain development. The five key elements are referred to as brain food and are:
Respond • Cuddle • Relax • Play • Talk
I have read and understood this policy and will adhere to it as part of my daily practice
| Name | Signature | Date |
| Marlis Juerging-Coles | ||
| Liz Wilkins | ||
| Lou Barlow | ||
| Josh Bosley | ||
| Nicky Taylor | ||
| Laura Slater |
Reviewed on:
Manager signature:
Trustee team signature:
